May 28, 2004

A hectic week

It has been a dreadful week for me where all the negative things comes up all at once. I made a mistake on my flight ticket, I have to reschedule my trip to Penang because i don't have any place to stay. Furthermore, my thesis is having some problems in getting the positive results. Plus a lecture from my dad. At that moment, I felt so dissapointed in myself. In other words, I was beginning to give up on myself when all the negative thoughts came to my mind.

One of the negative thoughts is that when i was reminded by my father that someone who is far more better than me and now working with a good post. While I.. Sigh.. I guess I couldn't reach up to his expectations nor I became what he wanted. These things have been with me since my childhood and it is the thing which is hard for me to let go. Probably that is the 'best' criticism a parent can give in order to improve their child's well being. Rather than giving the positive support for that it might spoil the child.

Well, I don't know whether it is right or wrong to do so. I did create the sense of jelousy to the person who is better than me but I believe i have my own way of finding happiness and who knows what is best for me. For I know what i really need to improve and grow. There is no point of following other people's shadow and using the easy way out by following the system of our society.

As I reflect myself, I have experienced a lot of negative things in my life and somehow actually... I did survive. So, will I survive in this next phase of difficulty? I surely can.

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