Nov 30, 2004

Physical and Mental Breakdown

I'm really depressed. My body already give way to sadness and I broke down in my room alone. I really want to talk to someone but I think i ended up blabering on the emotions that I myself don't understand. It may be an insult of a person's intelligence for listening to my frustrations and fears. Such things can really stop me from writing positive things and inspirations. I cannot even think positive now. Friends? I'm beginning to question my own friends. Are they sincere? I'm beginning to doubt myself as well. I don't even know myself. At home, I limit myself to be 'dumb' and passive and here I'm being proactive and helpful. But then, I question myself again.... Which one is me? I happen to be good in both sides. Of course, it is tiring. I'm tired of myself. Tired! Tired! Tired!
I sacrificed my time and effort for others to the point I disregard my own feelings and needs. I thought I can take it but that particular day I really can't. I'm such a failure that I couldn't contain my emotions and frustrations. I think it is best that I remain silent before i hurt someone's feelings or myself.

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