After finishing the student's mass today in St. John's Cathedral, I had an interesting conversation with Mary from MMU. Someone whom I got to know during the Christmas Recollection.
One of the question that made me ponder was what I really want to plan to be or at least my purpose in life. To be honest, I don't know....I even gave an answer to her that I actually don't know after experiencing a lot of things at work.
Before I entered into the working world, I had so many things to dream of and wanted to achieve. One of them was to earn a lot of money, being professional in the field that I'm working in, being a key personnel(i prefer to be called as someone who is irreplaceable)...etc etc.. In short, is to have a career like anyone would dream of. But as I reflect myself throughout the night after talking to Mary, I came to realise that the things that I'm doing is about the money and trying to prove myself that I can actually work. The real fact was because I couldn't find a job back at my hometown that I put a lot of effort with work.
I had done a lot for my job(both previous and current ones) that I had sacrificed a lot of things that I had taken for granted. Quality time with my friends and families, my favourite hobbies, charity work, attending mass and health are all the ones that I'm losing. The only friends and families I have are my colleagues, my favourite hobbies are my work, this job that the bosses are pushing told us to treat our work as a religion, health.. get a flu shot.
It goes down to "My gosh, what am I doing with my life?!". To look back for the past few working months, it was a screw up. I do want to rule my life on what is right but after that what next? Then, the next question was what I plan to do with my life or at least what is my purpose now?
To be working in such a routine, it really made us question ourselves again. The goal is definitely different from when you just graduated. I've tasted a few jobs...it has definitely change my view and plans on what I wanted to do and get. Well, I am still searching for the purpose of my life but at least now, I learned to know what is important to me. Trust me, it's not all about the money and career alone that satisfies a person. It's more that that.